Leading Off

So here it finally is.  The opportunity I’ve been waiting for.  The time is right. It’s never been more opportune to rant and holler about sports, media, entertainment, politics, and innane cultural musings.  But mainly sports.  And my grandmother’s pegleg she bartered for in Latvia almost 65 years ago. Now’s that a good story that deserves widespread distribution.

 But really, this is a forum for me to find a voice.  Whether that voice resonates with nobody or every single onlooker that so happens to stumble upon this page is irrelevant.  I am not here to break stories.  This is not for personal gain.  Barry Zito’s Dirty Secret is merely a place to comment on or praise a pop-culture item worthy of net-time and expression.  Or a place to lash out against the ineptitude and incompetence that society so seamlessly embraces on a daily basis.  Frankly, sports is the perfect microcosm for the type of stupidity we not only accept, but consistently thirst for.  OJ, Roger Clemens, Mike Tyson,  Pacman, Steve Howe anybody? OK, so maybe Howe is a bit archaic at this point, but the point is hopefully clear.

 Between poor business decisions, ill-fated marketing campaigns, blatant showings of non-effort, a general nonchalance and indifference towards success, and rampant inefficiencies running from the President to the pizza vendor, pro sports organizations set precedence for folly on an expensively grand scale worthy of public mockery and shame. 

 College sports are pretty ludicrous too when one thinks about the amount of money these kids are bringing in for their conferences and universities, yet the one form of payment that they are receiving, their education, is treated like a peripheral priority.  Most D-1 athletes are just that – athletes .  The days of the student-athlete are waning rapidly as media coverage spreads like a YouTube video of Brittany’s yamfest through a freshman dorm.  All we want is more exposure so that we can witness the next best thing.  Hell, now I can watch Purdue women’s golf if I really wanted to.  Awful.

 This is not to say that sports and sports broadcasts are all bad, however.  The merits they hold for the average viewer still are pretty evident. It is a form of escapism.   A source of pride.  A bond.  An avenue of expression.  A limitless fountain of entertainment value.  And for some, sports could even provide supplementary income if you “do your homework.”  By the same token, you could also lose your ass and wind up mouth agape under a leaky urinal pipe praying for lead poisining.  

To wrap up this innaugural tirade, I would like to express the genuine excitement that I feel towards sports.  Not only do I relish every moment I spend on a tennis court, golf course, baseball diamond, football field, racquetball court, basketball floor, nude mud-wrestling mat, etc. because of the joy it gives me to perform in a competitive venue while staying as un-fat as possible, it also is fun to just watch two rabid egrets peck mercilessly at each other’s eyes until one vomits violently and collapses.  Call me crazy, but winning is awesome and really the only thing that matters in life. 

I don’t want to hear anymore from Tim Duncan and his amazing journey and how he values all the hard work and his life experiences, not the actual results of his work.  The only reason he claims to cherish his footsteps as opposed to crossing the finish line is because he’s always finished first.  If he had gotten to the big one 4 times in a row a la Jim Kelly and pulled a Spree on Carlesimo you better believe the Lurch of Los Spurs would talk differently about his ‘journey.’ 

 Something to leave with—- look at how incredible the near future of sports is…

1) March Madness – UNC is gonna win it all.

2) Baseball season – The Red Sox are gonna win it all.

3) Champion’s League Soccer – Arsenal is gonna win it all.

4) The Masters – Tiger is gonna win it all.

5) NHL Playoffs – Detroit is gonna win it all.

6) NBA Playoffs – The Lakers are gonna win it all.

7) NFL Draft (and free agency that’s already been happening) – The Raiders will always lose.

Signed,

RAVEN duRANT